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· 7,831 ratings · 481 reviews

Start your review of Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment

This is a pretty thin book with about enough content to fill a magazine article. The book centers around two ideas. First, that happiness is the "ultimate currency." The use of "currency", here, I think is unfortunate. Currency is actually a means of exchange that, at least with modern floating currencies, has no intrinsic value. A twenty dollar bill is not worth much in and of itself. It's worth comes from what we can exchange for it. Happiness is not like that. We don't exchange happiness for This is a pretty thin book with about enough content to fill a magazine article. The book centers around two ideas. First, that happiness is the "ultimate currency." The use of "currency", here, I think is unfortunate. Currency is actually a means of exchange that, at least with modern floating currencies, has no intrinsic value. A twenty dollar bill is not worth much in and of itself. It's worth comes from what we can exchange for it. Happiness is not like that. We don't exchange happiness for other stuff that is valuable. Instead, the author is trying to persuade the reader that we should measure the value of something ultimately by how happy it makes us. So, when he says currency, he means measure of value. The trouble is that when you put it clearly in that way, it no longer seems so obvious to me. It might be that everything should be measured in terms of how happy it makes you. But why not in how good it makes you? Or some other equally nebulous, but positive sounding quality?

His second main idea is that there we can measure happiness both in terms of short term pleasure (or satisfaction, or whatever), and in the long term. This raises four possibilities. 1) Hedonism is short term pleasure with long term harm. 2) Rat racing is short term pain followed by long term satisfaction. 3) Nihilism is short term pain followed by long term pain. (I don't think he understands nihilism very well. I would call this despair, which is something a bit different.) And Happiness, is short term pleasure which also leads to long term pleasure.

With this handy roadmap, the idea is to chart a path that includes as many things that fall into the happiness quadrant as possible. Seems pretty simple, right? Unfortunately for me, however, I think reading this book fell somewhere between the rat racing and nihilism parts of the spectrum.

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Feb 23, 2016 Amanda rated it really liked it

Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, a professor at Harvard University who leads a positive psychology seminar, wrote Happier "to raise awareness of the general principles underlying a happy and fulfilling life." The philosophical questions surrounding happiness have interested him since the age of sixteen when he became the Israeli national squash champion. He was perplexed as to why after fulfilling his dream he didn't experience the happiness he expected. Of course, he was ecstatic after winning, but almost i Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, a professor at Harvard University who leads a positive psychology seminar, wrote Happier "to raise awareness of the general principles underlying a happy and fulfilling life." The philosophical questions surrounding happiness have interested him since the age of sixteen when he became the Israeli national squash champion. He was perplexed as to why after fulfilling his dream he didn't experience the happiness he expected. Of course, he was ecstatic after winning, but almost immediately that feeling was replaced with a returning feeling of emptiness. Dr. Ben-Shehar has continued to explore the subject of happiness while pursuing studies in philosophy and psychology.

This book is well written and broken down into chapters of logical progression. There is a plethora of concrete advice and simple steps to incorporate into one's daily life. I took several pages of notes and found the book enlightening. I'd like to hit on a few observations that I found helpful.

• The author describes his theory of happiness as a merger between Freud's pleasure principle that states that humans are driven by an instinctual need for pleasure and Frankl's argument that "striving to find meaning in one's life is the primary motivational force in man."

• The ultimate currency for a human being is happiness because it has intrinsic value. When a person's positive experiences (income) outweigh his negative experiences (expenses), he has made a profit. When the reverse occurs, the outcome is emotional bankruptcy.

•There are three factors that contribute to our level of happiness. The first is our genetic predisposition over which we have no control. The second factor is our current circumstances over which we may have little control. However, we do have considerable control over the kinds of activities and practices we pursue, which is the third factor to our personal level of happiness.

"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." -Abraham Lincoln

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Jul 08, 2008 Craig rated it it was amazing

The last book I'll tell you about was an airport impulse buy. It was me being afraid I might run out of things to read in Eastern Europe and knowing how hard it is here to get books in English. "Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment" is by Tal Ben-Shahar, a Harvard professor whose "Happiness Class" quickly became the most popular courses on campus!

This is not your typical self-help book full of mindless platitudes. Instead it is more like a workbook for your life. It's

This is not your typical self-help book full of mindless platitudes. Instead it is more like a workbook for your life. It's practical, it's useful, and I ordered a case of them to give to my friends and family! It made me think a lot about my life and the decisions I make which dictate how I live it. Ben-Shahar posits that happiness is the ultimate and universal currency—that the Question of All Questions is "How can we help ourselves and others —individuals, communities, society—become happier?"

It's not that the book is difficult to read. It isn't. But it demands something of you. It makes you work. And, if you take it seriously, it will probably change your life. I'll let you know. I'm taking some interesting steps as a result of reading it—trying some new things both personally and professionally.

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Jan 06, 2016 Nicki rated it it was ok

Meh. Not great, not terrible. The problem I had with this book was that it was so theoretical as to be nearly impossible to apply in any concrete way. Also, I felt like the people who can read/get something out of this book are wealthy, first world singles living in a free society with no obligations other than to themselves and the means to do whatever they want (basically, the Harvard students that the author teaches). The whole talk of 'duty' and 'sacrifice' being bad for your happiness (even Meh. Not great, not terrible. The problem I had with this book was that it was so theoretical as to be nearly impossible to apply in any concrete way. Also, I felt like the people who can read/get something out of this book are wealthy, first world singles living in a free society with no obligations other than to themselves and the means to do whatever they want (basically, the Harvard students that the author teaches). The whole talk of 'duty' and 'sacrifice' being bad for your happiness (even in the context of marriage and family) seems like it encourages a wholly self-centered world view... which I think is definitely not what this world needs more of. There were a couple points that made me think, but mostly I was just racing to get through. I've read other books on happiness that were much more inspiring and helpful (and concrete!) than this one. ...more

May 29, 2009 pri rated it liked it

very simple but profound book. i found myself bookmarking a lot of sections and exercises to return to when i had a bit more time. certainly, reading it did not make me suddenly *happier* - but it gave me some things to reflect on more.

two quotes:

"The proper role of goals is to liberate us, so that we can enjoy the here and now. If we set off on a road trip without any identified destination, the trip itself is unlikely to be much fun. If we do not know where we are going or even where we want to go, every fork in the road becomes a site of ambivalence... If we have a destination in mind, if we more or less know where we are going, we are free to focus our full attention on making the most of where we are" pg 70.

"The psychologist Donald W. Winnicott observed that children playing in close proximity to their mothers display higher levels of creativity in their games than those who are father away... The circle of creativity is a space in which children can take risks and try things out, fall and stand up again, fail and succeed - because they feel secure and safe in the presence of a person who loves them unconditionally. Because adults are capable of higher levels of abstraction than children, we do not always have to be physically near our loved ones to be within their circle of creativity. The knowledge that we loved unconditionally creates a physiological space of safety and security" pg 114-115

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Apr 16, 2018 Conrad Zero rated it it was amazing

Hard NOT to like a book about being happier. :)

The author has big ambitions for this book. Not just a social change away from Materialism and towards Happiness as the "ultimate currency," but a worldwide Happiness Revolution. (I can see it now, rainbow flags, glitter bombs, and all sides with the same battle cry, "YAY!" Good luck with that.

Some of the book is a bit oversimplified and requires the occasional building an escape route out of painted-in corners. (OF COURSE there are times when we

Hard NOT to like a book about being happier. :)

Some of the book is a bit oversimplified and requires the occasional building an escape route out of painted-in corners. (OF COURSE there are times when we need to sacrifice today for the big payoff tomorrow... but ignore all that and let's get back to what I was saying about having your cake and eating it too...) The author is aware of the term "false dichotomy" but fails to see his own black and white vision when drawing hard lines between nihilists, hedonists, and "rat racers" where there should be gradient, Gaussian curves. I guess the intended audience is high-schoolish, not college.

And I don't recall a discussion of how my happiness and your happiness can collide and cause conflict.

As much as I'd like to take a star off for these flaws I can't. The rest of the book is just too good. There is an elegant definition of happiness here that you would tattoo on your forearm if it wasn't so long. And exercises, meditation and thought-experiments galore for you to examine what makes you happy now, what gives you purpose to work toward, and how to find your CALLING. (No bull, you want the C-Level mission statement for your life? Get it here. Guess what? It concerns what makes you happy...)

Read this book if you want to be happier.

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Great read. While some of it is obvious (find what makes you happy), he makes some great points. He poses some poignant questions on how to discover what matters to you, and how to add happiness to your life. He briefly discusses external vs. internal manifestations of happiness. Definite 5 star.

A few quotes from the book:

"To live a meaningful life, we must have a self-generated purpose that possesses personal significance rather than one that is dictated by society's standards and expectations

A few quotes from the book:

"To live a meaningful life, we must have a self-generated purpose that possesses personal significance rather than one that is dictated by society's standards and expectations."

"Surprisingly, some people feel more depressed once they have attained material prosperity than they did while striving for it... The rat racer is sustained by the hope that his actions will yield some future benefit, which makes his negative emotions more bearable. However, once he reaches his destination and realizes that material prosperity does not make him happy, there is nothing to sustain him. He is filled with despair and hopelessness, because there is nothing else to look forward to, nothing that will allow him to envision a future that would be happy." (Page 75)

There's plenty of good quotes, but these sum it up: find what intrinsic values matter most to you, and pursue them. Evaluate your daily life, and spend more time doing things that make you happy and add value to your life.

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May 02, 2019 Zane rated it liked it

Nothing surprised me in the content of this book, yet it's a nice and well-written reminder of how to focus on yourself, your view of life, your goals and overall understanding of happiness. If only it was easier to be happy (poof! and you're happy), if only everyone would know how to reach such state, show example.. we'd live in a way better place. But this book is one of many baby steps to reach this destination.
"Be the change that you wish to see in the world." /Mahatma Gandhi/ Nothing surprised me in the content of this book, yet it's a nice and well-written reminder of how to focus on yourself, your view of life, your goals and overall understanding of happiness. If only it was easier to be happy (poof! and you're happy), if only everyone would know how to reach such state, show example.. we'd live in a way better place. But this book is one of many baby steps to reach this destination.
"Be the change that you wish to see in the world." /Mahatma Gandhi/ ...more

The backbone of the most popular course at Harvard today. A lot of great exercises to complete! I liked his hamburger model to describe people
- the vegetarian burger is the rat racer - future benefit, present detriment - inability to enjoy what they are doing and their persistent belief that once they reach a certain destination they will be happy.
- the junk-food burger is the hedonist - future detriment, present benefit - seeks pleasure, avoids pain.
- the worst burger is the nihilist - future The backbone of the most popular course at Harvard today. A lot of great exercises to complete! I liked his hamburger model to describe people
- the vegetarian burger is the rat racer - future benefit, present detriment - inability to enjoy what they are doing and their persistent belief that once they reach a certain destination they will be happy.
- the junk-food burger is the hedonist - future detriment, present benefit - seeks pleasure, avoids pain.
- the worst burger is the nihilist - future detriment, present detriment - resigned to the belief that life has no meaning, chained to the past - past failures, affect the future - no matter what one does, one can't attain happiness
- the ideal burger is the one that creates happiness - future benefit, present benefit - we enjoy the journey on our way to a destination we deem valuable, happiness is the experience of climbing toward the peak.
Happiness is the ultimate currency, not gold or prestige - Happiness perception, we guide or life around how we can find meaning and pleasure rather than how we can acquire more money and more possessions (material perception). All there is to life is the day-to-day, the ordinary, the details of the mosaic. We are living a happy life when we derive pleasure and meaning while spending time with our loved ones, or learning something new, or engaging in a project at work. The more of our days are filled with these experiences the happier we become. This is all there is to it. ...more

Sep 14, 2018 Sean Goh rated it really liked it

Interesting frameworks and concepts, like the future/present pleasure/detriment matrix, gratitude letters, and sentence completion.

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Rather than asking yourself if you are happy or not, a more helpful question is "How can I become happier?"

If we do not ritualise activities - whether working out at the gym, spending time with our family or reading for pleasure - we often don't get to them, and rather than spontaneous we become reactive to external demands.

Hedonism: the experience of present bene

Interesting frameworks and concepts, like the future/present pleasure/detriment matrix, gratitude letters, and sentence completion.

___
Rather than asking yourself if you are happy or not, a more helpful question is "How can I become happier?"

Hedonism: the experience of present benefit and future detriment.
Nihilism: Neither present nor future benefit.
Rat racer: Present detriment for future benefit.
Happiness archetype: activities that bring them enjoyment in the present will also lead to a fulfilling future.

Rat racers often mistake the relief upon reaching the destination for happiness. The weightier the burden, the more powerful is the experience of relief. When mistaking this relief for happiness we reinforce the illusion that reaching goals will make us happy.
Relief can be considered negative happiness, as it results from the negation of stress or anxiety.

Without long-term purpose, devoid of challenge, life ceases to feel meaningful to us; we cannot find happiness if we exclusively seek pleasure and avoid pain.

Avoid the false dichotomy of should I be happy now or in the future? Ask how you might attain both.

The rat racer becomes a slave to the future, the hedonist, a slave to the moment, the nihilist, a slave to the past.
Attaining lasting happiness requires that we enjoy the journey on the way toward a destination we deem valuable. Happiness is the experience of climbing towards the peak.

If we were devoid of emotion and hence of motivation to act, we would aspire to nothing. We would remain indifferent to our actions and thoughts, as well as their ramifications. Because emotion is the foundation of motivation, it naturally plays a central role in our motivation to pursue happiness.

Being an idealist is being a realist in the deepest sense - it is being true to our real nature.

The shift from being a rat racer to pursuing happiness is not about working less or with less fervor but about working as hard or harder at the right activities - those that are a source of both present and future benefit.

Sentence completion - generating a number of endings to an incomplete sentence - often helps people come up with insights that bring about meaningful change in their lives.
Quickly generate at least 6, or as many as you can think of, to the sentence stem.

Goals communicate to ourselves and to others, the belief that we are capable of overcoming obstacles.
The proper role of goals is to liberate us, so that we can enjoy the here and now.
If we have a destination in mind, if we more or less know where we are going, we are free to focus our full attention on making the most of where we are.
A goal enables us to experience a sense of being while doing.

People seeking greater well-being would be well advised to focus on the pursuit of
a)goals involving growth, connection and contribution rather than money, beauty and popularity and
b) goals that are interesting and personally important to them rather than goals they feel forced or pressured to pursue.

The challenge is not to entirely get rid of have-tos but to reduce them and, as much as possible, replace them with want-tos. How happy I am depends to a large degree on the ratio between have-tos and want-tos in my life.

An overwhelming sense of relief in the moment, can feel a lot like happiness.

Emotions are largely indifferent to material wealth.
No privilege in the world can protect us from experiencing emotional pain, even nihilism at time, and the expectations that it should only leads to further unhappiness. We, regardless of our income and social status, need to give ourselves the permission to be human.

If we can learn to reframe our work and our education as a privilege rather than a duty, and do the same for our children, we will be much better off in the ultimate currency. Not only that, but we will also learn more and perform better.

Work should draw out a variety of talents and skills, the employee should complete the whole task, from beginning to end, rather than play a minor role in the big picture; finally, the employee should feel that her work has a significant impact on others.

How we perceive the work can matter more than the work itself.

MPS Process:
Q1: What gives me meaning?
Q2: What gives me pleasure?
Q3: What are my strengths?

Your being the national champion is a reflection of who you are, of, among other things, your passion and dedication. The external attracted more attention to the internal.

Even people who believe that happiness might be attainable with the right person may resign themselves to an unhappy relationship out of a sense of duty toward their partners, their children, or the institution of marriage. They believe erroneously that sacrifice is synonymous with virtue.
Standing by one's partner in times of need is not sacrifice; when we love someone, we often feel that helping that person is helping ourselves.

To cultivate genuine intimacy the focus in a relationship must shift from desire to be validated - seeking approval and praise - to the desire to be known.

Make it a ritual to write at least one or two gratitude letters a month to people you care about - a lover, family member, a dear friend.

We do not need to make a choice between helping others and ourselves, they are not mutually exclusive possibilities.
The more we help others, the happier we become, and the happier we become, the more inclined we are to help others.

To devote oneself to an agreeable task is restful.

The right to be happy, that individual happiness is noble and worthy pursuit, is censured and vilified by many ideologies.

When we do not accept our inherent worth, we ignore or actively undermine our talents, our potential, our joy, our accomplishments.
Inherent worthiness is a state of openness - of being open to happiness.

Time affluence is a consistent predictor of well-being, whereas material affluence is not.

People are generally happier in free countries than they are in state-controlled economies. The problem arises when the freedom to pursue material wealth is replaced with a compulsion to amass it.

To realise life's potential for happiness we must recognise that "this is it", that all there is to life is the day-to-day, the ordinary, the details of the mosaic. We are living a happy live when we derive pleasure and meaning while spending time with our loved ones, or learning something new, or engaging in a project at work. The more our days are filled with such experiences, the happier we become. That is all there is to it.

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Feb 03, 2010 Felicia rated it liked it

This "self-help" book, I would recommend. It started out slow, but became more interesting and insightful as it went along. The book has you ask questions and complete sentences as exercises in the study of becoming "Happier". I actually worked through these exercises by writing down the questions/sentences and answers in a spiral. The thought patterns send you down many different paths to determine where your true happiness comes from and what you can do to feel happier in the greater part of y This "self-help" book, I would recommend. It started out slow, but became more interesting and insightful as it went along. The book has you ask questions and complete sentences as exercises in the study of becoming "Happier". I actually worked through these exercises by writing down the questions/sentences and answers in a spiral. The thought patterns send you down many different paths to determine where your true happiness comes from and what you can do to feel happier in the greater part of your life. It caused me to think about happiness in a different ways and even helped me to establish a little bit of a plan in how to obtain more happiness. I recognized things I needed to do to have more moments of happiness for myself and how that can be so important to my well-being.
I've already passed this book on to a family member and will keep passing it along to others.
Favorite quote from book: "Create your own reality rather than react to it." ...more

Oct 23, 2009 Peggy rated it really liked it

The author taught this Happier course at Harvard and he had the largest enrollment of students in Harvard history.
The book is a somewhat dry read for a self help book however but he references lots of studies and research which is unusual in this field and very interesting.
I love his basic premise which is that the ultimate currency is not money but happiness. In any situation, we should determine how much of the most important "currency" (happiness) we are going to earn.
I saw on TV that Denma The author taught this Happier course at Harvard and he had the largest enrollment of students in Harvard history.
The book is a somewhat dry read for a self help book however but he references lots of studies and research which is unusual in this field and very interesting.
I love his basic premise which is that the ultimate currency is not money but happiness. In any situation, we should determine how much of the most important "currency" (happiness) we are going to earn.
I saw on TV that Denmark citizens were recently identified as one of the happiest and since the government takes 50% of everyone's income and provides lots of services, supposedly most people chose careers for enjoyment, rather than for monetary considerations. So this author may have the secret after all. ...more

Apr 26, 2010 Anna rated it really liked it

1. Create meaningful rituals.
2. Daily gratitude journal.
3. Live and appreciate the present moment.
4. Enjoy the journey: "Happiness is not about making it to the peak of the mountain, nor is it about climbing aimlessly around the mountain, happiness is the experience of climbing toward the peak."
5. Struggles, hardship, and challenge are necessary components of an emotionally rich life.

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Be

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what they world needs is people who have come alive."

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2020-09-05 - I liked what I read, but it required more thought and discipline (taking daily activity notes) than I was willing to put into it,... so I dropped it.

But I have seen, heard and read so much since in this topic that I have come to appreciate it's idea and method far more now, than then.

I need to come back to this... and carve out the time to do so.

2020-09-05 - I liked what I read, but it required more thought and discipline (taking daily activity notes) than I was willing to put into it,... so I dropped it.

But I have seen, heard and read so much since in this topic that I have come to appreciate it's idea and method far more now, than then.

I need to come back to this... and carve out the time to do so.

...more

Oct 23, 2020 Neil Quinn rated it really liked it

How to enjoy your unhappiness life by....? This is what professor Tal Ben-Shahar shares with us. Many ways to understand how your worthiness of your life is. I have seen many kinds of astonishing ideas about making your life happier. Sometimes, we may not notice it, until we are riddled with deadly disease leading us to know how to value and appreciate your life, and also people around you.

Recently, people are struggling with depression more than 20-year ago due to time and environment pressure

Recently, people are struggling with depression more than 20-year ago due to time and environment pressure causing us to be rat racers -- devoting all of your energy to overcome the top of the mountain. Some people look to that cohort then choose to be hedonists -- indulging yourself to what you enjoy the most even having no meaning to you in the future. Nihilists are likely the most common form of depressed people having nothing to be pursuited for happiness. Last but not least, happyists is the most lucky people in the world. Why? I would like to say that they understand how to be joyful in present and also not denounce meaningful future. Some paradoxical and astonishing ideas will change your thoughts about your life.

Unsurprisingly, I am still encountering my unhappiness life. I am, however, willing to say that I am happier than the past after finishing this book. Many thanks to Tal Ben-Shahar

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I read that this author taught a course at Harvard and it was one the most popular with its students, that info led me into reading this book. After reading this book I can see why people love this class and as a current University student, I wish there was a class like this for me to take. There is a lot of practical advice that is supported by science and case studies on a topic that is one that a lot of people are seeking to achieve, being happier.

I love the fact that the author cites a lot

I love the fact that the author cites a lot of books that I have read and enjoyed like Daniel Kahneman's "Thinking, Fast and Slow." In my opinion, when it comes to being "happier," you must have a daily mindset and habits that produce a result of you being more happier no matter what happens to you that day. That ideal place of happiness is what a lot of people seek and might not be possible but trying to achieve it might cause you to become happier than you ever taught you can be.

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stuff you should already know from memes your friends share on facebook.
Main takeaway: there are 4 types or people/ activities:
those that have pleasure now forsaking the future (hedonists) -learned helplessness
forsake now for future pleasure (rat-racer) - the destination fallacy
those not good now or later (imo this is the actuality for both of the above)
those that cultivate happiness now and later - the main focus of the book. Lots of time spent examining how so many activities should be this wa stuff you should already know from memes your friends share on facebook.
Main takeaway: there are 4 types or people/ activities:
those that have pleasure now forsaking the future (hedonists) -learned helplessness
forsake now for future pleasure (rat-racer) - the destination fallacy
those not good now or later (imo this is the actuality for both of the above)
those that cultivate happiness now and later - the main focus of the book. Lots of time spent examining how so many activities should be this way and our outlook can change to make that happen.
"Happiness is the ultimate currency - money is a means"

Thought two things (in the second half of the book) stuck out to me.
1) we come home from work and do nothing - convincing ourselves we don't have time for hobbies that would actually make us happy now/ future.
2) too many happiness cultivating things to do can make you unhappy - get less busy/ choose what you really want.

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as i was reading this book, it seemed to apply to every situation and person around me. i love books that sink into the mesh of your life that way.

i didn't find "answers" in the exercises, but it's given me a lot to think about and integrates a lot of good thought about what happiness really represents.

i haven't found my personal north star, but i have found a clear answer as to why i might not feel as happy now as i once did. and somehow that gives me peace just to understand maybe my current

as i was reading this book, it seemed to apply to every situation and person around me. i love books that sink into the mesh of your life that way.

i didn't find "answers" in the exercises, but it's given me a lot to think about and integrates a lot of good thought about what happiness really represents.

i haven't found my personal north star, but i have found a clear answer as to why i might not feel as happy now as i once did. and somehow that gives me peace just to understand maybe my current state is well reasoned.

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May 03, 2020 Janice Dimock rated it really liked it

In a world gone mad- it's nice to read the logic and reason of Tal Ben-Shahar. The concepts in this book are similar to those in Shawn Achor's 'The Happiness Advantage'- as should be expected since Shawn was Tal's student. Still, repetition is not a bad things with these ideas. Our culture is designed to strive for happiness, so it's good to be reminded about what's really important in life. Be happy! In a world gone mad- it's nice to read the logic and reason of Tal Ben-Shahar. The concepts in this book are similar to those in Shawn Achor's 'The Happiness Advantage'- as should be expected since Shawn was Tal's student. Still, repetition is not a bad things with these ideas. Our culture is designed to strive for happiness, so it's good to be reminded about what's really important in life. Be happy! ...more

Oct 25, 2021 Kamilė rated it really liked it

Fairly short, but helpful guide starting from basic notions about happiness to actual implementation of it in life. The exercises after every chapter are quite interesting and give a more practical insight into what has been said in the chapter. if you like planning meticulously, this book will suit you!
It's not preachy, and quite realistic except one bit at the end where he is talking about 'happiness revolution' - that was lost on me because it was just...weird. and also saying that capitalism Fairly short, but helpful guide starting from basic notions about happiness to actual implementation of it in life. The exercises after every chapter are quite interesting and give a more practical insight into what has been said in the chapter. if you like planning meticulously, this book will suit you!
It's not preachy, and quite realistic except one bit at the end where he is talking about 'happiness revolution' - that was lost on me because it was just...weird. and also saying that capitalism has done nothing to the rates of depression atm was bizarre and could be easily challenged.
that's why 4 stars because otherwise, it's quite an interesting short book. ...more

Sep 29, 2017 Olya rated it really liked it

nice little reminder about what really makes us happy. though this positive view not for everyone.

Aug 27, 2021 Laurie rated it liked it

1/Question of Happiness: In the middle of difficulty is opportunity (Einstein). Author won Israel national squash tournament and thought it would make him happy, but the bliss only lasted a short time. Obtaining goals doesn't make us happy. How can we find lasting happiness? Some suffering is inevitable in everyday life. No person experiences bliss at all times. Becoming happier is a lifelong pursuit. Self-discipline is insufficient in making change. Introduce rituals – defined precision steps b 1/Question of Happiness: In the middle of difficulty is opportunity (Einstein). Author won Israel national squash tournament and thought it would make him happy, but the bliss only lasted a short time. Obtaining goals doesn't make us happy. How can we find lasting happiness? Some suffering is inevitable in everyday life. No person experiences bliss at all times. Becoming happier is a lifelong pursuit. Self-discipline is insufficient in making change. Introduce rituals – defined precision steps based on deeply held values. Athletes create rituals around training. Personal happiness is a value, perform rituals around that value (meditation, exercising, pleasure reading, dates with spouse). Introduce only 2 rituals at a time. Don't introduce others until the original ones are habits. We don't need to plan every hour of everyday. We can be spontaneous within our rituals. Gratitude Journal: five things that make you happy each day.
2/Reconciling present and Future: Story of clean eating and junk food binge on hamburgers. Happiness model/hamburger model. Tasty junk food burger: present benefit (enjoy) and future detriment (feel sick). Seek pleasure now. Tasteless veggie burger: future benefit (health) and present detriment (not enjoy it). Rat racer – suffers now for gain later. Tasteless and unhealthful: present detriment and future detriment. Lost lust for life. Tasty and healthy burger – complete experience for present and future. Happy people have present benefit and future benefit. Rat Race Archetype: Timon works hard in school but does not enjoy it. Sacrifice present enjoyment for future gain. Tells himself he will enjoy college (he doesn't). He becomes a lawyer but doesn't like his job. Learn to focus on the goal now. Focus on journey, not the arrival. Hedonist: pleasure for the moment at future detriment, moves through numerous partners, takes drugs, avoids work. Story: Criminal goes to hell (thinks it's heaven at first) and gets everything he wants, but work is not allowed. College students signed up for a job/study where they couldn't do anything. They got bored and ended up taking another job. Body and mind stretched is the best work. We are designed for the climb. Nihilist Architect: has given up on happiness, chained to the past. Learned helplessness-dogs who don't even try and avoid the shocks since they could not before. This thinking leads to despair. Arrival fallacy – rat race. At what age could she stop thinking about the future and just be happy. Ask: how can I be happy now and the future. Some people can progress in their career while enjoying present happiness. Living as hedonist every once and a while is good for us as long as there are no long-lasting results. Rat racer – slave to future. Nihilist – slave to the past. Hedonist – slave to the present. Journals enhance our mental and physical health.
3/Happiness Explained: Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, aim and end of life (Aristotle). Why do you want to be happy? Know what your ultimate goal is: ask why. Why do you want to make more money? How many why's does it take to reach happiness? Happy individuals are successful across multiple domains (marriage, work, health…) Success leads to happiness and happiness leads to success (reciprocal). Happiness defined: Overall experience of pleasure and meaning. Pleasure is about positive emotions in the here and now. Imagine life devoid of emotion (robot). Robot lacks motivation to act, basic drives are dependent on emotion (hunger, love, acquiring wealth). Emotions cause motion, also linked to motivation. Emotions move us away from a desireless state. Man has brain surgery and loses ability to have emotions (lost wife, family, career) and he was indifferent to it. To be happy we need positive emotion. Pleasure is a psychological need. Happiness doesn't require an unbroken chain of positive emotions. Spirituality: Real sense of significance of something, finding sense of purpose. Goals need to be intrinsically meaningful. Important that we choose our purpose (in order for it to be meaningful). Idealist has sense of purpose. work as hard or harder at the right activities. The fun the happy person experiences is sustainable. Enjoys the journey and has a better outcome. We need present and future happiness. Freud = pleasure. Frankl=meaning. Lasagna principle: mom makes it for him when he comes home, but he doesn't want to eat it all the time. Record daily activities and how meaningful they are to us. Meaningful verses pleasurable. Integrity mirror: list things that mean the most to you: family, work, reading. Add up the total amount of time spent on each activity. Say no to activities that are low in meaning to you, so we can say yes to others. Institute phone free or internet free time.
4/The Ultimate Currency: Collins founded west side preparatory school for misbehaving children. These children learned to read Shakespeare and most go to college. They internalized her vision that each student could succeed. Seeing her children succeed is enough of a reward for her (verses being in a well-paying job). Teaching gives her life meaning. Assess worth of business = money. Assess the worth of a human being = happiness (ultimate currency). The least of things with meaning is worth more than the greatest thing with no meaning. Story: $1 million Venus dollars verses $1000 earth money. All goals should lead toward happiness. Low correlation between wealth and happiness (exception: poverty). Why does being rich take precedence over finding meaning? Caveman: hordes in order to have food in lean times. We no longer accumulate to live, we live to accumulate. We value the measurable (money) verses the unmeasurable (meaning, happiness). The only things that matter are matter. Human beings can go bankrupt (negative experiences outweigh positive experiences) = depression. College Freshman goals = 75% well off financially, 42% meaningful life. Happiness map: envision ideal week. Ritualize the changes you would like to make.
5/Setting Goals: The problem is usually about the kind of goals we set (should be pleasurable and meaningful). Commit to your goals to enhance likelihood of success (throw your knapsack over the brick wall). Beliefs are self-fulfilling prophecies. Conventional wisdom is goals provide happiness (tends to be short lived). Lottery winners are at baseline happiness one month later. Goal – reach peak of mountain. Monks focused on each step and were not overwhelmed by what lays ahead. If we are focused on our goal then we can pass all the side paths (making the most of where we are). Goals are means, not just ends. Goals = Experience sense of being while doing. Shallow goals – Popularity, beauty, money. Know what we want to do with our lives, have courage to stay true to those. How much of my day is spent on things I want to do verses things I have to do? How happy I am is determined by my ratio of want to's to have to's. Identify the things you can do; chose what you want; then select those things you really, really want to do. Inner circle held most desirable pursuits. We are being helped by hidden hands. Happens more when you follow your bliss. Form a happiness board with people who have your best interest at heart, meet monthly.
6/Happiness Education: Student motivation models: Drowning model – free oneself from pain/failure can feel a lot like happiness. Lovemaking model- satisfaction from everything we do along the way. Grades and prizes are the measure of success, instead of learning itself. We need to emphasize the love of learning. IQ only contributes 20% to success. Flow-We need to create environments at home and at school (peak experience and peak performance). Having a purpose is necessary to have state of flow. Pain is not optimal condition for flow. Skill (experience) and difficulty need to be right (difficulty too low = boredom, difficulty too high = frustration). Child pushed too hard (beyond stretch zone) = anxiety. Under privilege of privilege – children who aren't allowed to struggle don't get the satisfaction of achievement. Emotions are great equalizer – happiness and unhappiness are equally distributed among our population. Need to eliminate distinction between hard work (considered punishment) and play. We do need to work to be happy. More flow experiences occur at work. Rid ourselves of prejudice against work.
7/Happiness in the Workplace: Lawyer felt enslaved with his job due to standard of living. Really, he had made a choice that made him unhappy. Freedom is path of meaning and pleasure. Ask questions: am I happy at work? How can I be happier? Employee engagement at work: work with others, complete whole task start to finish, task has significant impact. Seek higher levels of involvement in projects that interest us. If we had a job that didn't meet our basic needs, we would find another job. Why don't we treat our happiness the same way? Most people view employment as Job (chore), career (advancement, recognition) or calling (work is end of itself). We select work based on strengths rather than passions. We need to find out where our strengths and passions overlap and choose a career in that area. Even in routine jobs employees have influence on the meaning of their job (housekeeping interacted more with staff and patients to find meaning). Their work makes a difference. To different minds the job is a hell or a heaven. NPS process: what gives me meaning? What gives me pleasure? What are my strengths? Rewrite job description as a calling.
8/Happiness in Relationships: Happy vs. less happy people = rich rewarding relationships. Core self – most stable characteristics. Behavior is based on our core self. Loved for power or fame is conditional love. To be loved for core self is unconditional love. Circle of creativity – try things and fail because they feel secure to do so. Unconditional love is foundation of a relationship. Love and sacrifice – in relationship due to a sense of duty. Sacrifice is not the same as love. Both partners need to feel that there is relationship equity (happiness). Sex can get better when we focus on knowing and being known by our partner, gradually disclosing our inner most selves. Key to relationship success is cultivating the one chosen relationship; not finding the right and only person to love. Write letter of gratitude and visit person and read it to them.
9/First Meditation: self-Interest and Benevolence: Ask What makes you come alive, not what the world needs. Acts of self-interest can still help others. The happier we become the more likely we are to help others. An unhappy person is less likely to be benevolent. We are more likely to help others when we feel good. Mortality of duty pits meaning and pleasure.
10/Second Meditation: Happiness Boosters: Fill life with as many experiences of joy and happiness as you can. People who identify sets of goals that reflect their values experience more happiness. Possible happiness boosters: play tennis, volunteer at shelter, go out with friends. It is easier to insert happiness boosters rather than to overhaul your entire life. Value of free time – most chose passive hedonism rather than engage in pleasurable and measurable. Happiness boosters increase our energy. Disc 4 track 4
11/Third Meditation: Beyond the Temporary High: Happiness depends upon ourselves. Happiness as a graph. Height – level of well being. Depth – our base level of happiness. Can it be changed or is it fixed? Most people's happiness is set at a certain level for most of their life. Three points of happiness: Genetically determine set point, life circumstances, happiness activities (we can change this). Appreciative inquiry focuses on what does work (verses what doesn't work).
12/Fourth Meditation: Letting Our Light Shine: If we feel unworthy for happiness we will limit our own happiness. We are more afraid of being talented and great. When we avoid a loss we also cannot achieve all of our happiness. We are worthy of happiness. We have to be open to the gift of happiness. A bottle with the cap on tight cannot accept water.
13/Fifth Mediation: Imagine: We would be happier if born at the age of 80 and approach age of 18 (Mark Twain). Open confrontation with death allows them to become more open to life and live in the present. We need to raise our awareness and become more fully aware of what we already know. Advice from inner sage: what would our 80 year-old self, tell our 18 year-old self?
14/Sixth Mediation: Take Your Time: Writing Happiness was fun for author with the exception of one time. He didn't have time to write (over committed), this compromised his happiness. People recorded previous day's activities and found Mother's did not enjoy their time taking care of their children (due to lack of time). Students pay emotional price (depressed, overwhelmed) for all of their accomplishments. We must simplify our lives and slow down. Time is a limited resource. Time affluence (enough time) is a better predictor of happiness than money affluence. When less is more: we can be successful and happy. Peak experience and peak performance go hand and hand.
15/Seventh Mediation: The happiness revolution: Material importance. Nonmaterial is not quantifiable and therefore not considered important. Happiness perception is recognizing that happiness is the ultimate currency. The very purpose of life is happiness. Students wonder how college can help them make more money. Instead they should ask what makes me happy? Resources are not a zero sum gain; there does not have to be a loss for someone else to gain. Happiness is portable – you take it wherever you go. We return to our baseline happiness after we achieve an accomplishment. We must accept that this is it – the everyday life. The more we are engaged in this (everyday life) the happier we become. ...more

Jan 20, 2021 Brian Johnson rated it it was amazing

I *highly* recommend you pick it up and get your "happier" on.

"As I see it, the role of positive psychology is to bridge the ivory tower and Main Street, the rigor of academe and the fun of the self-help movement. That, too, is the purpose of this book."

"I define happiness as 'the overall experience of pleasure and meaning.' A happy person enjoys positive emotions while perceiving her life as purposeful. The definition does not pertain to a single moment but to a generalized aggregate of one's e

I *highly* recommend you pick it up and get your "happier" on.

"As I see it, the role of positive psychology is to bridge the ivory tower and Main Street, the rigor of academe and the fun of the self-help movement. That, too, is the purpose of this book."

~ Tal Ben-Shahar from Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment

Tal Ben-Shahar is brilliant. And so is this book. His Positive Psychology class at Harvard was the most popular class on campus and, after reading his book, I can see why.

The book is really well written and PACKED with a great overview of why happiness matters along with scientifically supported Big Ideas and exercises to help us rock our greatest lives. Truly amazing.

Below are some of my favorite Big Ideas from this book. You can hear more about this book here:

1. The Four Archetypes - Rat racers, hedonists, nihilists and happy peeps.
2. The Ultimate Currency - Is happiness.
3. Happiness Rituals - Start 'em up!
4. Negative Rituals - What will yours be?
5. Expressing Gratitude - Is a very good thing.

And is now a good time to start following your inner sage?

I've added Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment by Tal Ben-Shahar to my collection of PhilosophersNotes. (Which help you change your life, 20-minutes at a time, with the best Big Ideas from 600+ of the best books on Optimizing your life via 6-page PDFs/20-min MP3s on the go!)

Get instant (free) access to all 600+ PhilosophersNotes AND all 50 Optimal Living 101 classes AND 1,000+ Optimize +1s as part of our free 2-week trial: http://optimize.me/

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Nov 19, 2019 Anastasia rated it it was amazing

This is one of those books that will change your life - if you let it.

I guess I shouldn't expect too much from a self-help book--even if it is written by a college professor. I think the book is designed to help Harvard students who still feel malaise even though they have "accomplished" a lot. The basic premise is to redefine what happiness is and then do things (set goals) so that you become happier. It boils down to keeping busy so you don't notice you're unhappy--as far as I can tell. The book is superficial: it can't help people whose life circumstances disem I guess I shouldn't expect too much from a self-help book--even if it is written by a college professor. I think the book is designed to help Harvard students who still feel malaise even though they have "accomplished" a lot. The basic premise is to redefine what happiness is and then do things (set goals) so that you become happier. It boils down to keeping busy so you don't notice you're unhappy--as far as I can tell. The book is superficial: it can't help people whose life circumstances disempower them--such as those experiencing extreme poverty or racism. So already it can't help something like half the world--or more--be happier. In fact he never addresses the problem that wanting to be happier is pretty much a first world, middle to upper-middle class phenomenon. The book is also filled with cliches, like "all the gold in Fort Knox." The author is too lazy to find precise language to express the complexity of the happiness phenomenon. It's contradictory, too. All the while the author tells the reader to set goals to become happier, he cites studies that say that we have a happiness set point that eventually returns after big events like winning the lottery or becoming paralyzed. Towards the end of the book he tries to address this contraction, but I see little evidence for his claim or resolution to this conundrum.

In my experience, it's much more helpful to recognize that happiness ebbs and flows, and that there are different kinds of happiness. As we learn to live with the ups and downs of life, we both accept the circumstances of our lives and develop the clarity to see where we can change. That is a harder and more nebulous task that setting goals--but ultimately more fruitful.

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Aug 20, 2017 Hank rated it it was ok

By all accounts, Tal Ben-Shahar is a success. He won the Israeli squash championship when he was sixteen and received his PhD at Harvard University in Organizational Behavior. In 2006, he taught PSY 1504 — Positive Psychology – Harvard's most popular course. Despite accomplishing many of his goals, he was not happy and became committed to answering the question of how one can attain lasting happiness.

Happier is an easy book to read. It does a great job translating with rigor the science of posit

Happier is an easy book to read. It does a great job translating with rigor the science of positive psychology into bite-sized actionable ideas and exercises.

I heard about Happier from a psychologist friend, who works with students in areas of self-esteem and depression. The book's title piqued my interest. Everyone – no matter how happy or unhappy – wants to be happier. Ben-Shahar's book is packed with exercises in the form of soul-searching questions. Taking a page from positive psychology, he wants readers to focus on more of the good stuff (self-esteem, optimism, and joy – instead of anxiety, depression and neurosis).

Ben-Shahar says society has become unhappier in the past few decades. Mental health statistics he cites for children and youth are alarming. "In the United States, rates of depression are ten times higher today than they were in the 1960s, and the average age for the onset of depression is fourteen and a half compared to twenty-nine and a half in 1960. A study conducted in American colleges tells us that nearly forty-five percent of students were 'so depressed that they had difficulty functioning.'"

Golden Egg

How can I be happy now and in the future?
"The ultimate currency for a human being is happiness"1 (Click to Tweet!)

Happier, page 53

Ben-Shahar identifies four archetypes of happiness decision-making using a hamburger analogy.

1. The hedonist lives by the maxim, "seek pleasure and avoid pain". This archetype chooses the tasty junk-food burger without regard to long-term consequences.
2. The rat racer lives for future gain by sacrificing the present. The rat race archetype selects a tasteless vegetarian burger made with the healthiest ingredients, with future benefit in mind.
3. The nihilist is someone who has lost his or her spark for life – both present and future. The nihilistic archetype chooses the tasteless, unhealthy burger because they simply do not care.
4. The ideal burger is the happiness archetype – a combination of a tasty and healthy burger. This group knows that activities they perform today at home, at work and in their communities will contribute to a fulfilling future.

Ben-Shahar says most people ask the wrong questions. For example, "At what point in life — at what age — can I stop thinking about the future and start being happy?"

As we have heard time and again, the journey is more important than the destination. But how many follow this? The author says, "Attaining lasting happiness requires that we enjoy the journey on our way toward a destination we deem valuable. Happiness is not about making it to the peak of the mountain nor is it about climbing aimlessly around the mountain; happiness is the experience of climbing toward the peak."

GEM #1

Express Gratitude Daily
"Fill your life with as many moments and experiences of joy and passion as you humanly can. Start with one experience and build on it." (Click to Tweet!)

Happier, page 129

Keep a gratitude journal. As simple as it sounds, how many people write a daily gratitude journal? The research from Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough is clear. Those who write down at least five things, for which they are grateful, enjoy higher levels of emotional and physical wellbeing. There is a cumulative effect in becoming mindful of our happiness by writing a short list of what we are thankful for daily.

Ben-Shahar believes the gratitude journal keeps emotions fresh in our memories as we experience the feelings associated with writing each item. The benefit in doing the exercise consistently helps a person appreciate the positive in their life instead of taking it for granted.

I try to journal every day either early in the morning or before bed. My overall outlook and day-to-day relationships are more positive when I journal and express gratitude. The experience of turning this activity into a habit instead of watching the news at the beginning or end of the day has been a pleasant surprise.

GEM #2

Simplify
"The good news is that simplifying our lives, doing less rather than more, does not have to come at the expense of success."1 (Click to Tweet!)

Happier, page 153

More than a century ago, Henry David Thoreau said, "Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million count half a dozen." Ben-Shahar says we place too many competing demands on our time, a limited resource.

Psychologist Tim Kisser's research shows that having time affluence is a strong predictor of wellbeing, whereas material affluence is not. Time affluence allows people to personally pursue meaningful activities, to reflect more often and balance leisure with work. Conversely time poverty is associated with people who often use phrases like, "in a rush", "jam-packed schedule", "behind schedule", "stressed and overworked", "I have no time" and "I'm exhausted". Sound familiar? Avoid time poverty by taking a moment to consider what you can cut out of your day to help free up extra time to just breathe.

After I finished reading Happier, I felt a sense of calm and excitement. The notion of "figuring out what happier" means for me, by working through Ben-Shahar's coaching questions felt easier with a roadmap. A great coach gets out of the way and gives us the space to do the work. Ultimately, we discover the answers for ourselves, in our own time.

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May 19, 2016 Heather rated it really liked it

I have read quite a few happiness books and wasn't initially impressed. However as I continued reading I thought that Ben-Shahar made some important points that other authors didn't fully cover. Essentially the book is about finding meaning in life, and he makes a strong case for why money and success aren't enough to bring happiness. There is much of the research that other books cover that he doesn't, but what he does cover he discusses clearly and thoroughly. It was worth the time to read. I I have read quite a few happiness books and wasn't initially impressed. However as I continued reading I thought that Ben-Shahar made some important points that other authors didn't fully cover. Essentially the book is about finding meaning in life, and he makes a strong case for why money and success aren't enough to bring happiness. There is much of the research that other books cover that he doesn't, but what he does cover he discusses clearly and thoroughly. It was worth the time to read. I read it on audio and am considering buying a physical book so I can have access to the exercises he suggests using. ...more

I do not know how this book came to me. But I did not like it very much. I was interested in some anecdotes, but the book did not keep my interest. I just read some parts and left it in just a few hours.
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Ni siquiera sé cómo este libro llegó a mis manos. Pero no me gustó especialmente. Alguna anécdota captó mi interés, pero el discurso general no mantuvo mi interés. Lo leí en diagonal y lo dejé en apenas unas horas.

Jan 22, 2008 Marley rated it did not like it

Ugh, lame. Bad writing, bad examples, way too many words to get across a very basic idea that you can find in any self-help book. Be happier by living in the moment. The author comes across as a complete tool.

Tal Ben-Shahar (Hebrew: טל בן-שחר‎, also known as Tal David Ben-Shachar) is an Israeli teacher and writer in the areas of positive psychology and leadership.

Tal Ben-Shahar taught at Harvard, where his classes on Positive Psychology and The Psychology of Leadership were among the most popular courses in the University's history. Today Tal teaches at the Interdisciplinary Center, Herzliya.

Tal receiv

Tal Ben-Shahar (Hebrew: טל בן-שחר‎, also known as Tal David Ben-Shachar) is an Israeli teacher and writer in the areas of positive psychology and leadership.

Tal received his PhD in Organizational Behavior from Harvard University. His dissertation, completed in 2004, is titled "Restoring Self-Esteem's Self-Esteem: The Constructs of Dependent and Independent Competence and Worth." Additionally, he also holds a Bachelor of Arts (B.A.) from Harvard in Philosophy and Psychology. His undergraduate thesis, completed in 1996, is titled "Honesty Pays: Bridging the Gap Between Moral Theory and Practice."

Tal consults and lectures around the world to executives in multi-national corporations, Fortune 500 companies, educational institutions, and the general public. Topics include leadership, education, ethics, happiness, self-esteem, resilience, goal setting, and mindfulness. He is the author of the international best sellers Happier and Being Happy, which have been translated into 25 languages.

[Sourced from his wikipedia article.]

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